Now, Before

Now

“Me, myself and…”

It was the festive season again. Another 365 days around the sun. This particular revolution heaved and hissed for those who faced the whip at the crack of dawn. The days birthed steady 'L's and downs throughout the year. For those who had life to show, it was mercilessly beating its drum in the unceasing rhythm of catching no break. Tough luck, man! It didn’t help either to watch those bathed in the rays of fortune and glazed in the incantations of blessings coast through it unscathed. Yes, that was reason enough to be in the dumps. That alone was reason enough to be low in spirits. It heaped on the misery.

For this, I embraced and lived in righteous covetousness. After a series of questions long enough to fill the Nile, the only explanation proffered to me was that this is how the world spins. Prayer and hope were my only insurance. They were the only way that gave a semblance of peace, as they promised you a rebirth, one with a silver spoon in your hand. A new life where you stood on the other side. Alas, they could not stay the ominous. The promise of better on the other end? Even that necessitates a healthy dose of doubt because on what premise am I banking wholeheartedly, everything, when my environment, my life, is this way? I will seek out for myself. Henceforth, I am all that matters.

Before

“Looking back”

Everything reminded me of a time when things were good. A time that could be described as full of splendour and wonder. I woke up with a smile etched boldly on my face and felt everything go in the direction of goodwill and good tidings. I, too, was once bathed in the rays of the sun. I was a candelabrum of love, and everything I did radiated the light of love. Shadows of angst, bitterness and hate disappeared whenever I spoke. An aura of freedom and sobriety preceded my every utterance. I was a breath of wintry air after the last day of a heatstroke. Full of joy and hope were daily emotions subsisting from sunrise to sunset.

In my yonder years, I envisioned that like the last petal of the rose, I would sashay through the air of life free from the responsibility of prolonging youth. I will touch and gently caress the face of the sandpapered earth with everything good.

It is funny how the cookie crumbled. Ha!

Writer’s Commentary

In light of everything, you have the power to decide.

“What do I want to remain in the face of everything?”

“Do I only show light when all conditions are optimum?”

“Or do I make the firm decision to be full of good even when I’m stuck in the darkest rooms of life?”

You must not give in to despair when your hope is lost because, truthfully, your hope is never lost. The issue is a dearth of information. It is plain and simple… You do not know.

You owe it to yourself first and to all to find the knowledge you lack. Then, you can discover the never-ending hope that exists. Find it, find Him.