Lukewarm

The world looks and tastes better. In his pride, he bellows loudly, declaring that he has missed out. The rebellion in his heart echoes proudly and denigrates in an unforgiving manner. Time has been wasted, and the only person to blame is none but himself.
He is partially convinced that he has singlehandedly cheated and withheld from himself this life – a soiree eclipsing the ones planned for royalty from the endless sands of Arabia. The shriek of pain and unmistakable regret escape again from those sullied lips in support of his once subdued fleshly predilections.
The silver-tongued words from the world have slithered snakishly into his ears and filled them with wax containing contradictions, and he has knowingly latched onto them.

He appears foreign, strange beyond familial comprehension. Now, he is a walking outlier and a rueful embodiment of what he has been warned not to become: lukewarm.
Ah, yes! He exemplifies the colour grey. He is both Black and White.
He waxes cold and hot but is neither of the world nor against it, depending on where the wind blows – a very dangerous state which spells a corruption unlike any other. A state that rots both soul and spirit.
Now, his allegiance is to no one but himself. He has become an avatar for selfishness, for the conceit of self. All that matters now are his selfish desires, a man ruled by the god of self and feelings, ruled by himself, a banner for all who express libertine tendencies, his raison d'être.

We can infer from his current condition that the lukewarm man indeed has only self as his object of worship. We would not be wrong to vehemently conclude that as the outcome. See, wherever he deems or feels right is where he lays his bed, and whatever he blesses becomes holy in his sanctum sanctorum. He forgets that he is pride-filled and subconsciously tries to be the one above all.
He forgets that chasing after the moments is fool’s gold. Nevertheless, he carries on because, in his mind, he has gotten the restitution for his sins. A selective genius, if you ask me.
Again, he carries on because, in the perverted place that is his mindscape, he rationalises his obvious obstinacy as the penance for a servitude void of wages. This is his imagination of an established, more befitting reward. A recompense on his own terms.

He is numbed to the penalty that awaits. A man embroiled in a losing battle with himself with no escape in sight. It is, of course, a lie he has repeated over and over again to appease his conscience. He continues to enable the distorted worldview that leads him now.
Two truths coexisted in his very eyes, and the consequent effect was his fracturedness.
His mind became a duelling arena for ideals in never-ending opposition with each other.
I should say now, however, that present at the fore of the monolith called truth is his truth.
The humour in this is that he is fully cognisant of the path he now treads. There is no smoke and mirrors. He sees clearly the obvious self-inflicted chicanery.

Awareness of what this means echoes loudly in his ears, pushing past the wax-filled contradictions in his ears, yet in insouciance he persists.
A very loud shake of his fists to whoever (God) he believes has faulted him unerringly. A steups from his lips to the one he believes has shackled him in the entirety of his existence. The bluster from his apparent righteous indignation carries a whiplash only experienced if a fighter pilot flew a fighter jet at Mach speed with no windscreen.
He has fully become a deeply conflicted man. Half and half in his ways.
His hypocrisy finally has the spotlight in his line of sight.
The hammer has dropped now. It hits the crown of his head and knocks him down to the reality of who he is, of what he’s become: lukewarm.

Should he ever have a parting word with the promise of a do-over, I guess his postscript to anyone will be

"Introspect as much as possible
Make sure you believe your beliefs!
Make sure you believe what is the truth.
Make sure it is what it is and not what it is supposed to be.
And in all your doings, in your worship, don’t ever be lukewarm.
Choose where you stand.”