If Tomorrow Were To Start Without Me (prima pars)

Everything is subject to scrutiny including the great things that happen around us. Your personal experience is not exempt from scrutiny's microscope too. Here's what is even more interesting about it all having examined it myself. The truth of your personal experience is strongly believed by you. Its infallibility is held altogether, again, by you. Nobody can take away your experience from you. A bold statement that is verifiably true. 

Let's try this exercise out, shall we? 

Pick at random anyone out of ten people and ask them, emphasising that there are no wrong answers to the question “What is joy?”. All ten after the exercise would share a unique perspective on what “joy” means to each. There are so many instances out there that affirm the claim of the uniqueness of experience. Therefore, it is not far-fetched to conclude that one's experience is really theirs. People have after all, either maintained or surrendered their stances in the face of contradictory or supporting evidence for their experiences and vice versa. This is a lived experience by everyone. I mean take a look at your life. Has there not been a time when you have been presented with information that supported your case? Be honest, there have been moments despite the evidence provided, where you still chose to go in the opposite direction. We all do this. 

You and I determine what we do with information every day and that influences the way our interactions and experiences unfold.

Again, whenever you have the opportunity to engage somebody in a conversation about life, those willing to share will tell you many times over, about their intimate knowledge of life. You will hear things. Some are equally wonderful and terrible. 

In conversation, there are almost always similarities in the accounts shared when compared to others. One of such stories is the inevitability of human suffering. The form of suffering does not matter here necessarily, as it varies from person to person. But the pith of the matter is that suffering remains the blight and plight of all men. 

True to word, a constant in human suffering is death. From a classical mathematics and actuarial perspective, the probability of human mortality says that death is a one-in-one event, a sure event. This means that it is certain to happen. 

From the book of Hebrews, chapter 9 verse 27,

 “…it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.”.

And this reality is true for every human being. For this reason, I would love for us to take time and consider WHO, WHAT, HOW and WHY we live. 

Let me introduce the Life Review Experience (LRE) in light of this. The life review experience, simply put, is having your life flash before your eyes in a near-death encounter, a severely traumatic episode or even when one is declared clinically dead. People who have undergone this phenomenon (mostly survivors, of course) insist that they have a vivid comprehension and replay of all events that transpired in their lives. And after, it is reported that they underwent lasting behavioural adjustments to their way of life.  While this is an extensively and controversially argued topic in the scientific community, let us shift our focus to its benefit. The value of actually seeing in its full light, your life in technicolour as if projected on the big screens is immense. If you were to ask me if this was a big nod to self-reflection, I would say a resounding “yes” to the question.

Suppose that we, by some contrivance, can enjoy the benefit of the LRE without experiencing the painful processes in which it often occurs? Do you not believe that we can better enjoy life? 

I wager that having your own Life Review Experience (LRE) puts things into perspective for anyone. It is a firmly held personal belief that every person should have an LRE of the form I suggest, not of one induced by the trauma of a near-death encounter or a stressful experience. Have one, wholly spurred on by the will; an exercise in pure volition to understand who it is you really are and what it is you are truly after in your limited time here on earth. When you do this willingly as recommended, you will find your contemplation, ambitions and whole life come to a standstill. This is not for the fun of it. A greater realisation and evaluation of the plethora of life is made bare in this moment. I find all that you're often left with is no longer “how to make next month’s rent” or “how to get the bag or finish that degree”. I am not saying these are not important, they are.

What I am, however, trying to communicate is this. You see the kaleidoscopic totality of all your decisions clearly. It gives you a pristine panoramic, introspective analysis of your life. This is the purpose of the experience. A lot of people blaze through life without doing this and if by some enlightenment they do, it is not nearly enough. 

Once we actively commit to it, let us also ponder the autobiographical data of our lives and fix what begs correction before tomorrow starts without us. 

The end is an arc in every pedagogy which spells finality. In storybooks, we have the closing chapter which signifies or, at the very least, points to an end. Every piece of natural or engineered creation begins and ends. The observed reality of birth and death which are cursors that direct the cycle of life, scream in our faces. This is both nascent and ancient in occurrence to the story of life. And with it comes the existential questions that also linger and pervade our very lives. These inquisitions cause us to look within even as we also observe without. Remember always that you determine what you do with information every day. So while we do not know the hour when we will exit,  we know beyond a reasonable doubt that we will exit. I am challenged daily therefore to appraise what governs my life every day.

Having taken stock of my life (the relationships, upsides and downturns, emotional oscillations), I make room for the necessary and corresponding changes within my control and allow for the changes outside of what drives my belief in and of life.

I choose to rehearse now what tomorrow may be like in my absence.

If tomorrow starts without me, this is what it should appear like for me.

I will ride on flaming chariots into the expanse of eternity. Like a glorified gladiator, I would enter the arena of the Coliseum to take centre stage. It would be a spectacular sight to behold. I would do so with no regrets adorned in sartorial and regal majesty. I would have none whatsoever even at the sounding of my knell. 

The Irish author, Jonathan Swift, coined a beautiful description of a person who ushers in a joyful, relief-bringing comfort upon being seen in his 1738 book, A Complete Collection of Genteel and Ingenious Conversations.

“The Sight of you is good for sore eyes”

I echo his words in humility that the sight of me is good for every sore eye that ever laid hold of my person during my lifetime.

My shadow will dive happily into the pitch-blackness of oblivion never to be cast again by the earth’s light upon everything. And that, in itself, is life peaking. As for my body, it would gladly welcome the cold and cushioned embrace of the earthy soil, offering itself as nourishment for life.

For it to do this stems chiefly from an established decree that

 “…for dust you are and from dust you shall return”. 

Therefore, its fulfilment will be achieved whether in agreement or not. And so I wholly participate only if it is before His appointed return. My conditional agreement is founded on an even greater decree of love—a decree subsisting on faith and grace in Christ that surpasses the first.

In all of this, I see the love of God unfolding.  Nothing is wasted with Him even in death. With conviction, I can say nothing in me will be lost. Even in the final moments, my life would still speak of His greatness. His loving ability to render a dying situation useful, blessing everyone and everything till death is swallowed up in victory, is still made known. What miraculous work!